Couples Coaching

The struggles couples face

Communication.
It might just be the biggest challenge couples face — especially if, like me, you don’t see communication as just talking, but as everything that happens between you.

Because it also includes feeling your darker parts, owning and expressing your desires and boundaries.
It includes knowing when not to talk — but to look each other in the eyes, give a hug, or throw your partner on the bed.

Communication issues creep in on every level of a relationship.
From the practical — like arguing about the dishes or who’s picking up the kids — to the deeper frustrations of not being heard, not listening, not feeling understood.

And almost always, they lead to emotional insecurity, distance, and stuck intimacy.
The result? A sexual connection that becomes increasingly difficult.

Sexuality may be the most direct route to deep connection.
Beyond reproduction, it’s the core function of sex: opening and merging.
Which is also why it’s the place where all your relational pain tends to surface.
Sex can be a garden of Eden — or the emotional trash bin of your relationship.

The good news?
With the right guidance and intention, change can happen fast.


The Four Steps Of Intimacy:

  1. You get a proven framework to recognize, prevent, and break through common communication patterns.
  2. You learn to listen on deeper levels — beyond the words. That’s where we explore the underlying dynamics, conflicts, and desires.
  3. Then we go to the core: How is the energy flowing between you?
  4. And: How can we deepen both safety and sexuality?

This approach starts with recognizing your differences — the parts you once fell in love with, and the parts that now drive you mad.

With a background in journalism and communication, and years of training in tantra, breathwork, massage, polarity and men’s work, I bring together multiple worlds — so both partners feel seen, heard, and reflected.
I have extensive experience — both personal and professional — with monogamy, open relationships, polyamory, and everything in between.

Feeling a yes?
Choose a coaching option below and book an intake session.
Is your partner not ready (yet)? You’re welcome to start with 1-on-1 coaching.

| Dark.ness


1. (noun) absence of light

2. a In behavior, un-integrated darkness: residing in the shadows or hidden from consciousness; dangerous, depraved, violent, deceitful

2. b In behavior, integrated darkness: directness, attractive, commanding, raw, unapologetic, powerful

3. Of primal origin: focused on basic biological human / animal urges

4. Mental darkness: depression or depressive feelings

5. In sexuality: taboo or (assumed) out of the ordinary desires, kinks and fetishes

1 on 1 with sjoerd

‘Direct, empathetic and confronting. Sjoerd has the ability to see and show you where you’re stuck.’

Each session consists of an online Zoom call with meditation, practices and invaluable reflections. Afterwards you will receive an email with a short recap of the session and three different types of practices for you to work on (embodiment, shadow work and real life).

Practice

How much you get out of coaching is largely dependent on how much you put into it. Therefore you are invited in each session to be as open-minded, honest and transparent as you can.

Furthermore the three practices you receive after each session are of vital importance:

These practices aim to increase embodiment, or body awareness. They help you breathe more deeply, enhancing inner peace and expanding your capacity to let (sexual) energy flow. This will also greatly influence how you move through the world and how people perceive and respond to you. Sometimes correcting a small mannerism, adjusting a breathing pattern, or changing the way you make eye contact can literally be life-changing.

Shadow work is the practice of bringing suppressed thoughts and behavioral patterns to light to reflect on or change them. This practice is crucial for taking any steps toward growth because your shadow—your subconscious—is always focused on self-preservation, which can block any form of development or improvement.

The shadow is not evil; its purpose is to help you survive. However, if you are ready to move from surviving to thriving, it’s time to start looking in the mirror with ferocious honesty to see how you have been getting in your own way.

These real-life practices aim to tackle your very personal challenges in your day-to-day life. Any goal you set for yourself can be achieved if you work on the underlying conditions through embodiment and shadow work. Setting and striving for real-life goals is a testament to your hard work. These goals might include releasing addictions and dependencies, making changes at work, improving your home or living environment, and taking steps in your relationships.

Choose Your Path

Choose one of the following packages. Every coaching journey is tailored to your needs.

The four steps of intimacy

€2500

Doe Het Samen
Vier Maanden
Zoom Calls Elke Twee Weken

(Betaling in termijnen mogelijk)

The Four Steps + one on one

€3500

Same But Tackling Your Issues Too
Six Months
Zoom Calls Every Two Weeks

(Payment Plan Available)

Start making an impact, in work, in love, in sex

  • Embodying Yourself Fully: Your Daily Practice
  • Penetrating The World With Your Gifts: Owning Your Desire
  • Owning and Integrating Shame: Giving Yourself permission To Be
  • Body Posture and Breath: Taking Your Space
  • The Relationship With Yourself: Loving and Leading Yourself First
  • Integration and Regulation: Your First Aid Kit For Life and Love