‘Direct, empathetic and confronting. Sjoerd has the ability to see and show you where you’re stuck.’

Common ‘Men’s Struggles’

The desire to “do it right.” The search for love or intimacy. Addiction and dependencies. Fear of your own power, anger, or desires—or of other people’s response to them. Trying to make an impact on the world. Fatherhood. The search for freedom. Sexual struggles, like performance anxiety or finding a partner.

Being a man ain’t easy.

Many of these universal problems have deep roots. They are connected to how we are raised, what we have experienced, and a heavy burden of societal, cultural, and religious programming.

As men we have learned a set of confusing and sometimes contradictory messages. We have to perform, not feel too much, that men are dangerous, that we live in the patriarchy, that men should be leaders, that we should support and provide for women (but that providing is suppressing), that we should be impeccable lovers, that should ask for consent, that we should be rational thinkers and that we should be more sensitive.

It’s frustratingly confusing.

But there is good news. These challenges can be overcome, and many men are motivated to improve themselves. The problem is often not knowing how or where to start.

Well, brother, it starts with you. It’s time to learn what it means for you to be a man and to go for it. That’s something I can help you with—not from a place of dogma, but by empowering authenticity and self-leadership.

Human struggles

Many of the above struggles are not exclusive to men, and definitely not just to cisgender white straight guys. Women, non-binary people, gays, people of color or any other group deal with the same issues. Because they are in fact, human struggles.

What is different however is how different groups of people are confronted with these problems, how they deal with them and what society projects onto and expects of them. That’s why coaching for men looks differently.

As a white, cisgender, predominantly straight man myself, my perspective and experiences are influenced by that position. I do, however, have experience working with people who look different or move through the world differently than I do.